Finally, the election is over. After months of rancor and discord, we will have a new president and a nation still feeling the pain of hostility and polarization. As a community and country, we find ourselves at a crossroads, facing the need to come together to move forward. To do that, the question we must ask ourselves is simply: how?
Getting where we want to go requires understanding how we arrived where we currently are and why our politics pits individuals and communities against one another. Among the many reasons stands a sobering reality: politics all too often encourages us to view the other side as only “the enemy,” obscuring their humanity.
Despite the dreams many of us share — like safety, prosperity, and bright futures for our children — we see opponents through the narrow lens of division rather than recognizing what connects us as human beings. In these hyper-partisan times, our collective challenge is to rebuild our ability to connect, to disagree without contempt, and to move forward with empathy.
I am reminded of one of my favorite stories about Rabbi Zalman, a great mystical rabbi who awoke one night to his grandson crying. Rabbi Zalman went downstairs and found his son so intent on his studies that he had failed to hear the cry. Rabbi Zalman gently rocked the baby back to sleep. He returned to his son and said, “My child, I do not know what you are studying, but it cannot be the word of G-d if it makes you deaf to your child’s cries.”
The story’s lesson is timeless: no pursuit and no dogma should make us oblivious to another’s pain. My friend and colleague, Rabbi Donniel Hartman, calls this “putting G-d second.” We might call it “putting humans first.” When we are too focused on being right, we risk losing touch with what truly matters — the well-being of our fellow humans. The story of Rabbi Zalman also calls attention to the power of local, daily acts of kindness and awareness. Not only grand gestures improve the world; small, meaningful actions — listening, helping, empathizing — create collective impact.
Every person has a role, and making a difference can be as simple as showing kindness in a moment fraught with conflict, or listening to those with whom we disagree. These seemingly small commitments, made daily, ripple outward, transforming communities in ways we might not see right away.
At 92NY, our Dialogue Project illustrates what this transformation can look like in practice. The conversation series models how people with diverse backgrounds and beliefs can engage with one another kindly, particularly when discussing challenging topics. With a focus on listening and learning from different perspectives, the series encourages informed and respectful conversations and reminds us that empathy and understanding are pillars of progress.
At its core, the series aims to reinvigorate the tradition of intelligent and compelling discussion — a tradition with the power to bridge divides and strengthen our democracy. In a time when meaningful dialogue feels increasingly rare, its mission is both topical and imperative.
So, what does this look like today? It could mean pausing before responding defensively to a comment we dislike or giving others the benefit of the doubt, even if they strongly oppose a viewpoint. It could mean engaging with those around us to understand their perspectives and learning from those we agree with and challenge us. True civility begins with these small steps.
We must never elevate “ought” over “is,” forgetting that all of our biggest dreams start with what we can and should do right now, in this very moment. What cries are we ignoring, and how might we respond to them together?
This challenge is ours to meet — one person at a time, one day at a time. Every act adds up. When we focus on connection rather than division, we contribute to building a community and a country that values all people. We can be a country that sees strength in difference, where our unity is forged in mutual respect rather than forced conformity.
If we strive to listen, care, and see one another, we can restore our sense of community and civility. We can shape a society that values the inherent dignity of each and every person, and that is how, one small commitment at a time, we can make the world better — not just someday, but today.
Ingber, a rabbi, is the senior director for Jewish Life and senior director of the Bronfman Center at 92NY.
