One illegal border crossing they can let slide
Sarasota, Fla.: Homeland Security officers in Phoenix stopped an elderly man from entering the United States in a strange aircraft last night. The man, described as “overweight, heavily bearded and wearing a red and white party costume,” was being held pending further investigation. Nine small reindeer or caribou, referred to as “possible undocumented aliens,” were also taken into custody. One, with an unusual glowing red nose, was immediately placed in quarantine and was examined by government veterinarians.
“We do not see this gentleman as a threat,” said a Homeland Security spokesperson, “although we were initially suspicious when he kept repeating the words, ‘Ho, Ho, Ho.’ Ho, as you know, is the first name of an infamous North Vietnamese Communist leader, Ho Chi Minh. But we decided it was a harmless greeting of some sort.”
When asked how many packages the man was bringing into the country, the official would only say that the number was “in the millions.” Sources confirmed that the detainee’s name was not on any government no-fly list, and he was expected to be released as soon as local agents finished examining his baggage. “In this job, you never know who’s coming through the door next,” said one anonymous border guard. “Last spring, we had to deal with a giant bunny carrying a basketful of eggs. We asked Washington for guidance, but nobody there was very helpful.”
Neither political party had an immediate comment, but given the mood in Washington, many senators and representatives predicted that this would probably be their only chance to agree on any issue in the coming year. Pete Tannen
Helping the rich be rich
Staten Island: We don’t have massive federal debt because of Social Security or Medicare. We don’t have massive federal debt because of liberal policies. We have massive federal debt because we’ve been subsidizing the rich for too long. Michael Rosenkrantz
Mush-mouthed
Brooklyn: Does anyone else notice that AOC speaks word salad language just like Kamala Harris does? She loves the word “transparency,” which is ironic because most of the country sees right through her. Rocco Conte
Betrayal?
White Plains, N.Y.: Many NYC police and firefighters voted for Donald Trump. I wonder how they feel now that Trump and Elon Musk stopped Congress from supporting the 9/11 first responders’ health care. This is just the beginning of a four-year disaster! Steve Howell
Electability
Howard Beach: When half the country voted for a man who was convicted of sexual abuse and accused by more than two dozen women of sexual harassment, it certainly is a positive sign that Matt Gaetz stands a very good chance of being elected governor of Florida. Barbara Berg
There’s a right way
Clearwater, Fla.: Even far-right conservatives like myself can agree with this newspaper’s assessment that America urgently needs to replenish its declining population through new immigration. I fully support the notion that one of the key ingredients to our country’s past success has been the strength and diversity that immigrants have brought. However, your recent editorial (“Immigration is good for America,” Dec. 23) overlooked a crucial element in the immigration debate: It must be legal. There’s a significant difference between following the rules and simply bypassing them. The immigration process should be conducted according to the law, just as it was for the vast majority of immigrants in past decades. It was never easy or automatic. Immigrants were required to study U.S. history, pass a citizenship test and undergo a slow and difficult process to become Americans. They didn’t simply “sneak in” and get handed a free pass, complete with hotel stays and prepaid flights. Jeff Morey
A life for a life
Kew Gardens Hills: “Brooklyn DA vows justice in subway torching of woman; ‘migrant’ ID’d by students” (Dec. 24) read your front page yesterday. First of all, the district attorney can never get true justice for the victim of this horrific crime because, unfortunately, there is no death penalty in New York. And please call Sebastian Zapeta exactly what he is: a lowlife illegal alien who snuck into our country to do harm. Zapeta is the poster boy for a gurney and a needle. Just let me know where and when to show up and I will be more than happy to push the plunger and rid the world of this scum. Barry Koppel
Right on
Brooklyn: To Voicer T.S. Fallani: I say brava! Thank you for having the coglioni to say the truth to Voicers John Gelormino and D.A. Weinberg. They and many other MAGA sycophants speak out of two sides of their mouths. As Fallani stated, they are hateful bigots, blasphemously worshiping their demon-spawn god, and welcoming POTUS #2 (Musk), an immigrant who came here illegally and shrewdly found a way to worm his way into our White House. And they weave their origin stories so neatly, only to justify their racist views of the current immigrants trying to stay alive and make new beginnings here for their families. I stand with you, T.S. Fallani. Merry Christmas indeed! Susan Cassano
She’s a contender
Southampton, L.I.: To citizens of the five boroughs: Elect Jessica Tisch as your mayor. Eric Adams is an embarrassing disgrace to your city. Ray Butler
Bearing the unbearable
Hallandale, Fla.: How utterly futile to bear witness to 445 days (and counting) of Israel’s senseless bombardment of Gaza’s unarmed population. With Gaza having been reduced to unsustainable conditions, it seems unfathomable to citizens of conscience that Western nations, including the U.S., refuse to intervene to finally stop the genocide of a people. The few trucks that attempt to deliver food to a starving population are often attacked; the most recent attempt included the killing of four security guards by Israeli forces. Children, including amputees who lie in demolished hospitals, are deprived of being sent for critical treatment to the U.S., the U.K. and EU member states. Ninety-six percent of children in Gaza fear imminent death. The list of horrors, torment and atrocities continues unabated while too many in our population seem entirely deaf to Gaza’s ordeal. We need to clamor for immediate cessation of money, bombs and weapons to Israel while their genocide rages. Sid Sussman
Uh-oh
Brooklyn: On Monday, I started the TV Crossword, and by the third clue, I knew something was different. Ricky Cruz was back again. Why, especially when you published letters thanking you for the return of Jacqueline Matthews? I look forward to the TV Crossword every day, and now I will have to give up doing it. Matthews’ puzzles were comfortable; Cruz’s are not. Please explain what happened. Esther Berkowitz
Not again
Point Pleasant, N.J.: Just when I thought it was safe to go back to doing the TV Crossword, you bring back Ricky Cruz. Make up your minds. Once again: Bring back Jacqueline! Gene Speroni
Don’t punish us
Tarrytown, N.Y.: Watching Joel Embiid receive two technical fouls and get thrown out of the game would usually have me overjoyed. Lately, this is happening too frequently in the NBA. Players are complaining about the officiating and are receiving two quick technical fouls, which is an automatic ejection from the game. By the way, officiating has been atrocious and one of the biggest reasons for reduced NBA viewership. The NBA needs to adopt a new rule, maybe a delay-of-game warning. The player would need to sit out of the game for five to 10 minutes. Ultimately, the sold-out arenas of fans are there to watch the players perform. A frustrating moment during a heated game should not result in depriving the fans of their entertainment. Stephen Talenti
Acquire talent
North Arlington, N.J.: To Steve Cohen: I am 85 and have been a Mets fan since 1962. Every morning, I get my copy of The News from my front porch, hoping to see a headline that reads “Alonso signs with Mets.” That has not happened yet. You are not going to win a championship because you signed Juan Soto. We need Pete Alonso, Francisco Lindor and Brandon Nimmo as well as another pitcher. Barbara Sciortino
