When a chatty little girl visited Father Christmas, the last thing Paul Haslam expected to be on her wish list was a boob job.
“They were two sisters, about two and five, and the older one was doing all the talking,” the professional Santa Claus tells Sky News.
A Barbie dreamhouse, some Teletubbies toys and sweets were all on the five-year-old’s Christmas list.
“I said to her, ‘Thank you, is that all?’ And she thought for a moment and went: ‘Mummy wants a boob job’,” he says, laughing.
“You should have seen the dad’s face.”
Paul has been working as Santa for 16 years, a side hustle he started after spotting a poster in his local garden centre recruiting a “tubby guy to come work for us in four weeks in December”.
“I thought it sounded like a laugh,” he says. “The first time I did it I was absolutely hooked.
“I was in the grotto for eight hours and when I came out, I said to the guy in charge, ‘that was so much fun, I should be paying you’.”
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Inside a Santa Claus academy
‘The sack didn’t open’
His career as Mr Claus has even taken him to the stage with Mariah Carey.
“I got a call asking what I was doing the next day, and was told Mariah was performing in Manchester and her Santa had let her down.
“The proviso was, make sure you’ve got your sack – they’re going to fill it with cuddly toys and you and Mariah will throw them into the crowd.”
But when the big moment came, the sack didn’t open.
“The guy who had tightened it was her bodyguard, he was huge, and it took us ages to get it open.”
Paul has taken to the stage with Mariah Carey
‘Sausage factories’
Gary Cordes, a former solicitor, also took up being a Santa as a fun way to fill retirement.
He too started out in garden centres, but says the heavy footfall venues are just “sausage factories”.
“It is about people being pushed through, no time to talk to the children,” he says.
“In one, I was stuck in this windowless room for nine hours and was absolutely wrecked by the end of it. I want to engage with the families, actually have time with them.”
Gary is a former solicitor who found a fun way to fill retirement
Similarly, Paul says he once worked in a venue that told him he had to get each family in and out in 30 seconds.
“They just wanted to take people’s money and get them out.”
Gary now works at larger venues, including recently at the O2 Arena during Disney On Ice, as well as working corporate events.
“I love to interact with the kids, I try and move around the room or sit on the floor in front of the fireplace. They don’t often expect Santa to move around,” he says.
Gary working as Santa at the O2 Arena
‘My son thinks I am helping Santa’
Simon Young is young in every sense – at 37, he’s on the lower end of the age scale to work as a Santa. But when their existing Santa dropped out two years ago at Reuthe’s The Lost Garden Of Sevenoaks, he agreed to be a last-minute replacement.
“Because Santa is usually quite old, as you go into winter that can be quite unreliable with dropping out because of flu, or illness, and that’s what happened to us. We had three days to find someone.”
Simon has five children, aged from six to 16, and his youngest still believes in Father Christmas
“He knows I am Santa but thinks that the real Santa asked me for help to see the children here. He thinks the real Santa comes to see me, drops off loads of presents and I then give them out to other children.”
Recently, his youngest son came home saying a fellow pupil on the playground had told him Santa wasn’t real.
His seven-year-old was quick to reassure his brother, telling him the child at his school was being stupid, “because where else did presents come from, does he think parents just buy them?”
Simon working as Santa
Hilarious to heartbreaking
Not every child enjoys their visit to Santa, says Gary.
“If they’re not old enough, sometimes they just scream because they are scared,” he says. “So, I just say to the parents, we will have a good chat next year. I don’t want them to have a bad experience.”
They can sometimes come in with a big, long list, and Simon says he will look to the parents: “But I never commit to anything.”
Simon is a former member of the Royal Navy who served during the Gulf War, but says this job is “higher pressure”.
“There is so much weight attached to it, you don’t want to say the wrong thing and ruin someone’s Christmas,” he says.
And not every request a child has is one that’s easy to be filled.
“My first year, second day, I had a little girl who said she didn’t want her terminally ill dad to die,” says Simon. “She had been looking forward to coming to see Santa so she could ask him that.”
Paul grows emotional when he talks about similar experiences.
“I have had children ask if grandma or grandpa can come visit them again,” he says.
“I hold my hand up to them – we aren’t allowed to hug them – and I say that’s not in my bit of magic. My bit of magic is different. But I’ll tell you what, when I get back, if I can find them I will have a word and I’ll tell them you still love them.
“That’s the best I can do.”
Paul has been working as Santa for more than a decade
The cost of Santa’s beard
Being a Santa is not going to make you rich, especially not when you invest in your own costume, says Paul.
His beard is made from the belly hair of a yak and cost him £650.
“I spent a week’s wages on a wig and beard,” he says. “But you don’t do it for the money.”
And while some opportunities can be lucrative – Gary was offered a stint at Lapland for £1,500 a week – Paul has heard of companies abroad offering just £50 a day to Santa and his elves.
“I also did an event with a reindeer – the reindeer got paid more than I did,” Paul says.
“You’ve got to love the job, you don’t do it for the money.”
