As a teenager Bryony Moss faced merciless bullying and discrimination that left her anxious, depressed and led to three suicide attempts.
The school bullies, who called her ‘stupid’, ‘dumb’ and told her to kill herself targeted her because, like 1.5 million others in the UK, she has a learning disability.
To mark International Day of Persons with Disabilities, the model and campaigner for learning disability charity Mencap is on a mission to raise awareness of learning disabilities and urge the public to be kinder.
Bryony, from Buckinghamshire, was diagnosed with cerebral palsy when she was four and was later diagnosed with a learning disability, which is a reduced intellectual ability and difficulty with everyday tasks.
Some people have a mild learning disability and need additional support with household tasks or finances, whereas others might need round-the-clock support.
Bryony, now 26, struggled with following instructions, reading and writing. Children at school alienated her from the age of six because she was different. “The other kids called me names, hit and punched me and told me I couldn’t play with them. It made me so sad because there was nothing I could do about my learning disability,” Bryony says.
“When I got to secondary school the bullying ramped up and was in-person and on social media. Kids told me I would be better off dead.
“I felt worthless and believed that the world would be better off without me so when I was 14, I tried to take my own life. I just wanted the bullying to stop.”
Bryony’s parents Sasha, 65, and Alan, 73, spoke to the school to tackle the bullying and sought help from the local mental health team but there were a further two suicide attempts. “The bullying had affected me so badly that I was diagnosed with PTSD,” Bryony says. “People think it’s ok to say hurtful things to people because they’re different but it can do long-lasting damage.”
Bryony was also diagnosed with anxiety, depression and seizures associated with her mental health conditions.
Sadly, her experience is not unique. According to learning disability charity Mencap, children with special education needs are twice more likely to be bullied than those without.
The figures are just as alarming in adulthood, with a third of adults with a learning disability fearing being bullied when they go out.
The impact of discrimination shouldn’t be underestimated and it was cited along with other societal factors such as debt and poverty by experts from the University of Oxford as a possible reason for high suicide rates for the general population in England and Wales.
Recent figures revealed they were the highest in more than two decades. Mencap says discrimination against people with a learning disability runs deeper than harsh words and comments.
Dan Scorer, Head of Policy at the charity says: “We all like to think society is becoming more accepting but for people with a learning disability this is not the case and it can be like having a series of doors closed in your face.
“There is discrimination through the lack of support many people with a learning disability experience in the education system, barriers in accessing healthcare and also in entering employment.
“Just over 1 in 4 people with a learning disability are in paid work, compared to 1 in 2 disabled people overall, and 3 in 4 people in the general population.
“We need government to lead the way in providing better support so people with a learning disability can train and move into work.
“We also need to see the forthcoming NHS 10 Year Plan address many barriers people with a learning disability experience to accessing healthcare, and look to prevent the shocking levels of avoidable deaths amongst people with a learning disability.”
Bryony has experienced discrimination in healthcare and employment settings. Doctors dismissed her as ‘dramatic’ when she had seizures before later realising they were caused by her mental health conditions.
When applying for jobs, employers turned her down as they said they couldn’t allow her the time or easy-read documents to do the job.
Bryony hasn’t let these issues stand in the way of her dreams, becoming an actor and model. She cites Mencap and horse-riding as the two surprising things which saved her life when she hit rock bottom.
She says: “When I was low, I contacted the Mencap helpline for advice and it was so helpful to have someone listen to what I was going through and to have someone who understood and was supportive.
“Mum and Dad used the website to get support too, everything from help with my finances to advocating for my medical support.
“Horse-riding played a big part in my recovery too. I’d always enjoyed riding and when I felt low, I’d ride my horse Lambrusco.
“It took my mind off my sadness and the negative thoughts and I’d tell him my innermost thoughts. Animals are more accepting than people and it was somewhere I could be with no judgement.”
Keen to give back, Bryony is now part of Mencap’s Voices Council, sharing her experience to raise awareness.
She says: “No one with a learning disability should ever be made to feel worthless or that they would be better off dead.
“I want everyone to realise that people with a learning disability have feelings, hopes and ambitions like everyone else.
“We need people to be kinder and to educate themselves about learning disability so we have a better society for everyone.”
Bryony is supporting Mencap’s Do You See Me? campaign calling for people with a learning disability are fully included and valued in all aspects of life. Find out more and how to get support if you have a learning disability at mencap.org.uk
